September 15, 2001
Big things happen in New York which is why I love the place. As a native, I learned early to avoid trouble zones. But, the finance district? Drama was usually limited to the floor of the Stock Exchange. Tuesday, September 11th, 2001, changed all that. Four days later my husband declared, “I have to see for myself.” So we went.
Just a month before we were happily standing in the South Tower for discounted Broadway tickets. But this was Saturday, September fifteenth, and things had turned surreal. Our fellow passengers on Metro North were silent. The skies were quiet, there were no beeping taxis. Everyone wanted to talk but no one knew what to say. Not the New York I was born into.
As we stepped out of Grand Central we could smell smoke on the firemen in conference with each other at 42nd Street and Vanderbilt Avenue. An omen for what we might see downtown. The scenario didn’t compute with the beautiful blue sky that day.
Our cabbie took us down the FDR and dropped us off where the armed National Guard blocked access to lower Manhattan. Somehow we slipped passed them and found an official spot where the media spoke with workers in hard hats. Their faces stoic, covering deep grief. We wept, clapping as they came off the “pile.” Clapping seemed so superficial but, in the moment, it was the only way to show how grateful we were. It’s still emotional to think about.
I took this picture of what used to be the North Tower. Those enormous buildings smoldering in front of us was too much for our brains to grasp. We just stared, trying to understand. “Why would anyone want to do this?” It still boggles my mind to know that this massive debris pile was carried away within a year. The vertical scale of responsibility was beyond comprehension. Like viewing the Grand Canyon, it’s all right in front of you but too much to take in. All of it amidst countless candles, flowers and photos of missing loved ones.
For me, the biggest mystery was the presence of a pale, grey dust. It was everywhere. I picked it up and ran it through my fingers — puffy and gritty at the same time. Pulverized cement, steel, glass, and other stuff I don’t even want to think about. My Mom’s next door neighbor said it was the overwhelming stench of jet fuel from the second plane that made him leave his desk in a nearby building and go home. Stunned.
But New York is forever transforming itself. When you least expect it, the city can inspire miracles. They even sing about it on Broadway in “Hamilton.” “In New York you can be a new man…” When we’d finally had enough that day and were headed home, we stopped at a side-walk cafe to sit and take stock. The owner came out to explain what had changed for him — the new found sunlight. The whole area had been in darkness and shade for over forty years. Now, with the towers gone, the sky instantly opened up and the light was brilliant, joyful. However, on that day, none of us could feel the joy.
Light brings us many things: hope, awareness, insight, the truth. Light is also associated with the Divine which was hard to reconcile that day. But if we’re willing to look, we can see all those things. Ground Zero is now a peaceful memorial. The reflecting pools, alone, are worth the trip. I knew a big shift had taken place once I saw the Oculus, the new transit hub serving thousands of people each day. Big New York ideas demand big New York follow-through.
The Oculus now sits just yards from Trinity Chapel where George Washington attended service all those years ago. These two buildings, for me, symbolize a new vision for Ground Zero (one structure from our country’s origins and the other almost futuristic). They visually compress history, lift my spirit and show me the healing genius of creativity. It’s as if their presence, alone, can promise our emotional transformation from rage and fear to hope and compassion.
The 20th anniversary of 9/11 is only days away and our challenge is to monitor our focus. Our thoughts are more powerful than we can ever imagine. I believe, they not only influence our reality, they can create it. Our future depends on our mindset and our mindset depends on which thoughts we embrace. What makes me optimistic is the faith that enough people out there will chose the thoughts which benefit the greater good.
- Pat McGrath